Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Super-dads and bathroom transformations

Homes that have a super-mom always have a super-dad. It's a requirement. Our super-dad is so super and amazing that he is able to transform a perfectly good bathroom into a pile of rubbish in 2 hours. Let me tell you how this amazing feat was possible.

We had a home with a finished basement. Had. As in, don't now. In this basement was a beautiful, 1970's style carpet, complete with shag in colors ranging from orange to brown to black. During my pregnancy with our fourth child, I went through one of those bizarre moods where something must be done - and my mission was this carpet. I did not care (I actually said this out loud) if we had a cement floor for five years, I wanted this carpet out. That week. My husband understands me well enough to know that if he doesn't do it, I will do it myself. So on a Sunday morning he quietly left church early to go home and tear out the carpet. Please note the word "carpet" here.

When we came home two hours later, we found super-dad standing in the "I once was a bathroom" with hard hat and sledge hammer in tow. Did I mention that he was standing on the broken remnants of the tiled shower? He had torn out the shower, all the walls, removed the toilet and sink, and was pulling out the insulation. His plan was to build a bigger bathroom, so he had torn out my storage closet as well. All the storage boxes were piled in the garage. See, this bathroom had always bothered him. It bothered me too, but it was downstairs, used by one child, and I didn't ever see it. Okay, it didn't bother me that much.

He did take out the carpet in the rest of the basement first. I mean, as long as you are removing carpet, you might as well tear out a bathroom, right? I'm still trying to figure out what he was thinking. I think it's one of those Mars vs. Venus things. The thing that really confuses me is that we had no plans to remodel that bathroom.

So, here we are. That child I was pregnant with is now 5 years old. (Remember my remark about 5 years of cement floor?) Yes, the floor is still cement. The bathroom has been framed (framing is a long and difficult process that requires years to complete). We are carpeting the basement some day in the not-so-distant future. Someday when I decide I've had it and go paint the walls myself. Unless super-dad steps in and decides that as long as we are painting the walls, we might as well tear out the fireplace. Hey, that reminds me of the mouse books. Maybe I can write a children's book based on this. It would go something like this:

Hubby's To-Do List

Dear hubby had a to-do list. It said "tear out basement carpet". He went down the stairs. Hubby started to tear out the carpet. Then he saw the bathroom. Well, if you are going to tear out the carpet, you might as well tear out the bathroom too. So hubby tore out the bathroom.

When hubby was done, he was thirsty. He got a drink. While he was drinking his Pepsi, he saw the grass outside. It was covered in weeds. He thought he should tear it out too. So he did.

Then he turned on the sprinklers to rinse off his hands. The sprinklers weren't working, so he tore those out. When he was done, he saw that there was mud where the sprinklers had been. So he put some grass in the holes.

Seeing the grass made him think of his carpet. That reminded him that he still needed to tear out the carpet downstairs. So hubby went down the stairs again.

What do you think? Think I can find a publisher? Know anyone that does home repairs?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am laughing so hard at this...oh...oh...of COURSE he tore out the bathroom...hilarious...these boy creatures are so perplexing, but so entertaining...